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ART 425 Artist in Context
You
all probably know that quality writing is the result of a process that
includes multiple drafts. To succeed one has to be both willing to make the
effort (not just rush to get it done) and be able to effectively reconsider the
content and writing with each new draft. Each redraft should focus on a different level of writing
issue. There is no use refining language in an early draft if in fact you find
you are making the wrong point to begin with. You have to be seriously committed to the task, always
questioning and searching for better ways to do things. I have observed that
one of the biggest problems for student writers is that they tend to try to adjust when they really should be reconsidering. Changing out a word or
two isnŐt what revision is all about. We will break the activity of rewriting
into numerous steps including: Step 1. Improve your
outline in preparation for writing A. Get feedback (from Lisa
and edit partner) B. Redraft your outline Step 2. Rough
draft to 1st draft A. Write a
rough draft B. Perform a
self-assessment and write a summary of your findings (problems) w/ specific
revision goals (solutions) C. Revise
outline and write a 1st draft D. Submit w/
outline (to edit partner and writing center) Step 3. 1st
draft 2nd draft A. Get
feedback (from your edit partner and the writing center) B. Write a
summary of those meetings w/ specific ideas for revisions
(problems/solutions) C. Revise
outline if necessary and write a 2nd draft D. Submit
assessment, outline and 2nd draft w (to Lisa) Step 4. 2nd
draft to final draft A. Review
LisaŐs feedback. Write an assessment naming what you think needs to be done
and revise outline if necessary B. Write a
final draft (with new attention to writing issues) C. Submit to
Lisa (with outline and assessment) The
revisions involved in steps 1-3 should focus more on large scale, section, and
language revisions. The revisions of step 4 should focus more on writing
issues. Refer to the step-by-step commentary supplied below. When submitting,
always include all work in a single word doc. including assessment, revised
outline, revised draft (in that order).
After
completing the structure
development phase that included an initial self-assessment and redraft it
is time to get feedback from an outside source before you move on to writing.
In our case, we will have individual writing conferences. Immediately after
these conferences you will need to redraft your outline to reflect any
changes discussed (donŐt wait you will forget).
A. Rough draft With
a revised outline to work from it is time to write a rough draft. The purpose
of a rough draft is to write quickly so your ideas can flow without getting
hung up on the little stuff. But I say this with a warning-- you need to be
prepared to take every sentence to task later on because if you donŐt, you
will never rid your writing of this initial roughness (the law of inertia
says that objects that are at rest tend to stay at rest). B. Self-assess
and write a summary of your findings (problems) w/ specific revision goals
(solutions)
Assess
your rough draft on all levels using the prompts on the Dartmouth Writing
site (see check list at the end of this handout). Write a summary of your
assessment specifying the type revisions you think are needed and why.
Performing an effective self- assessment is very difficult because requires
objectivity. Karen Gocsik of the Dartmouth Writing Center recommends taking a
mind-cleansing break between drafts so you can begin the revision process by
rereading with a fresh eye. Read her page on revisions at http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/student/ac_paper/revise.shtml
it is full of excellent suggestions. In fact, much of what IŐve written below
is either sourced or copied from this page.1 Large-Scale Revisions (the whole) The first aspects to focus on when revising are what
Gocsik calls large-scale revisions.
These are the same issues you addressed when assessing your outlines and
might involve significant restructuring.
Gocsik says: ŇThis kind of revision involves looking at
the entire paper for places where your thinking seems to go awry. You might
need to provide evidence, define terms, or add an entirely new step to your
reasoning. You might even decide to restructure or rewrite your paper
completely if you discover a new idea that intrigues you, or a structure that
seems to be more effective than the one you've been using.Ó If
you find that you do need to make structural changes be sure to also correct
your outline or even better, create a new outline from the essay itself (you
will see this suggested below). Remember, you are required to submit a
current outline every time you submit a draft. Section
Revisions (the parts) Gocsik say that this sort of revision
Ňneeds to happen when you know that a certain part of your paper isn't
workingÓ (i.e. your introduction, summary, one element of your argument etc.).
The trick is seeing the nature of the problem so you know how to fix it. Is
it a problem of content? Or is it a problem of articulation and language? When
you do any revisions to a single section you will need to reconsider your essay
as a whole to make sure that your revisions work in the context of the entire
paper. This is particularly true for changes in terminology and language. Developing
a Language Part
of the challenge of revisions at any scale is developing a language that best
expresses your ideas. Appropriate language isnŐt only about arriving at the
right vocabulary and terminology but it can be a good part of it. In art
writing there is some amount of specialized vocabulary that can be helpful
but if you get too technical you will loose your readers (and become deadly
dry). What we think of as established art terminology is often vague and
means different things to different readers. Often times, the best approach
is to both create and define your own terms, or at least be sure to define
the way you mean concepts you cite, and develop that meaning as you proceed
through your essay. Consistent use of language can be one of the most
effective ways to create continuity and coherence. If in one place you refer
to a paintingŐs realism (a term
that would need to be defined within the body of your essay) and later you
switch it out for representation then
readers might think you are discussing different things. Writing
Revisions (Grammar and Style) The
final level of revision should focus on writing. Hopefully you have already begun to develop an effective
and consistent language by which you can communicate your ideas to your
readers. (see the Developing a Language section above). It is best to focus on
writing revisions after you have resolved your larger issues but keep in mind
that often you cannot do one without the other. I for one believe that we
conceptualize through language so
it isnŐt simply a matter of knowing what you mean to say and then figuring
out how to say it. In fact, sometimes it works backwards,
you form ideas only through writing them. Improving the readability of a sentence begins by having a
very clear idea of what you want to say. Take a step back and ask what is the goal of this
sentence? Starting fresh can be much better than trying to patch up a faulty
mess. There are a few basic principles that when applied will help you
improve your writing style 100%. Review the chapters in our textbooks and the
Dartmouth Writing center pages on style and grammar: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/student/ac_paper/style.shtml http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/student/ac_paper/grammar.shtml C. Revise your
outline if necessary and write a 1st draft D. Submit to
your edit partner and writing center Look
at the schedule and remember to book your writing center meeting in advance
A. Get
feedback (from your edit partner and the writing center) So after some rewrites you are convinced that most parts of your
writing are saying what you want them to say and maybe some parts are
stumping you. It is time to find a second reader to test both. As an artist,
you may already know that the way to get the most from a critique is to not
be passive. Come to the session
with written questions, and or notes about what you need help with. Ask your
reader questions. Have them tell
you what it is they think you are saying. Have them read it aloud so you can hear what it sounds
like. Take careful notes and include some ideas of changes you will make in
response. B. Write a
summary of those meetings w/ specific ideas for revisions (problems/solutions) C. Revise
outline if necessary and write a 2nd draft D. Submit
assessment, outline and 2nd draft w (to Lisa) Submit
as a single MS word doc. with your essay proceeded by your assessment and
updated outline. Name this file yourlastname_va1.doc.
A. Review
LisaŐs feedback. Write an assessment naming what you think needs to be
revised (problems solutions) Instead
of just jumping into a revision take a moment to first digest my feedback and
write a summary of your take on what needs to be done. Your final draft
should be both a response to your assessment and a full sentence level
editing of the entire essay (maybe using the feedback on your opening
paragraph as a model?) B. Revise
outline if necessary and write a final draft with special attention to
writing issues Write
a final draft spending lots of time on your sentences. Refer back to our
class discussion about style and grammar issues and review the Dartmouth site
pages style
and grammar.
And use the check list below (the later sections
focus on writing style). C. Submit your
final draft to Lisa (with outline and assessment) Submit as a single MS word doc. with your essay proceeded by an
updated outline. Name this file yourlastname_vaself2.doc.
Use
this check list from the Dartmouth Writing Center1 to help you
assess and revise your essay at various levels Consider
Your Introduction á
Does your
introduction define all of your key terms? á
Does your
introduction draw your reader in? á
Does your
introduction lead your reader clearly to your thesis? Consider
Your Thesis á
Does your
thesis say what you want it to say? á
Does your
thesis make a point worth considering? Does it answer the question, "So
what?" á
Does your
thesis provide your reader with some sense of the paper's structure? á
Does the paper
deliver what your thesis promises to deliver? Consider
Your Structure á
Make an outline
of the paper you've just written. Does this outline reflect your intentions? á
Does this
outline make sense? Or are there gaps in the logic? Places where you've asked
the reader to make leaps you haven't prepared her for? á
Is each point
in your outline adequately developed? á
Is each point
equally developed? (That is, does your paper seem balanced, overall?) á
Is each point
relevant? Interesting? á
Underline your
thesis sentence and all of your topic sentences. Then cut and paste them
together to form a paragraph. Does this paragraph make sense? Consider
Your Argument and Its Logic á
Have you really
presented an argument, or is your paper merely a series of observations, a
summary? á
Do you see any
holes in your argument? Or do you find the argument convincing? Have you
supplied ample evidence for your arguments? Consider
Your Paragraphs á
Does each
paragraph have a topic sentence that clearly controls the paragraph? á
Are your descriptions/examples simply factual or are they written in
a way that supports the point you want to make? á
Are the
paragraphs internally coherent? á
Are the
paragraphs externally coherent? (That is, have you made adequate transitions
from paragraph to paragraph? Is each paragraph clearly related to the
thesis?) Consider the
Clarity of your Writing á
Are your ideas written in a clear and understandable manner? Which
need improvement? á
Do your descriptive passages just describe or are they written in
such a way that they anticipate and advance your thesis? á
Are you choosing language and vocabulary that says what you mean to
say? Is your language consistent? Have you defined your terms? á
Are you writing your ideas in such a way as to engage your audience?
Does your writing seem dry and technical or does it communicate the
expressive character of the work?
Consider
your Conclusion á
Is your
conclusion appropriate, or does it introduce some completely new idea? á
Does your
conclusion sum up your main point? á
Does your
conclusion leave your reader with something to think about? á
Does the
language resonate, or does it fall flat? On the other hand, have you inflated
the language ridiculously to try to pad a conclusion that is empty and
ineffective? Consider
your writing style and grammar: á
Is each sentenceŐs relationship to the paragraphŐs topic evident? How
can it be improved? á
Are ideas repeated? Can sentences be combined
simply by adding a clause or word? á
Are sentences clear? Is
the main actor and action of a sentence clear and contained in the sentenceŐs
main clause? á
Is language vivid and concrete? Are sentences passive or active? á
Are sentences concise? Are there unnecessary phrases? Multiple adjectives and verbs? How
can things be said more directly? 1.
Gocsik, Karen; http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/student/ac_paper/revise.shtml |